Vance is happy. He beams, looking at his subjects as they are arrayed around the kitchen and living room. He thinks about how lucky his family and friends are to have him as their center and sovereign. They bask and thrive in the light of his boundless love. They get to admire how his empire is enlarging and his powers are growing. He is strong, bold, and fast.
When he crawls and puts his head down in “cruise position” he can motor silently and rapidly across the kitchen and power thru the cat door to the back hall, where the cats’ water fountain is just the right height for him to sit in front of and splash away to his heart’s content. He shoulders his cat Lily, a gentle and tolerant Maine coon mix, away from her food bowl and thrusts both hands into the fountain. Splatters fly. Water soaks the floor, the food bowl, his own clothes. Bliss. Lily fixes limpid, reproachful green eyes on Vance and chitters softly. Smiling Vance turns to embrace her soft fur. She allows this for a microsecond, then bolts. He splashes on, an explorer drenched by a storm at sea, an adventurer parting a vast waterfall.
Once he’s discovered, Mama, his bottom-bitch, puts him in warm dry clothes, and sets him on the floor. This primary handmaiden attends to his needs well and he rewards her with a regal smirk. Then he installs his passy in his mouth and zooms off. This day is just getting started and Vance has much to do. Freya, his number 2, is cooking in the half-size play kitchen and Vance needs to show her the right way to handle the spatula and utensils. He ignores her outraged protests (he is King, after all) opens the oven door, and puts his passy there for safe keeping. Soon he will enjoy his subjects’ frantic scurries to find it, when later he wants it and piercingly howls his imperious demands for oral satisfaction.
Papa, Vance’s treasured aide-de-camp, picks him up and Vance hugs him round the neck, digs his fingers happily into Papa’s dense coarse beard and chortles, “Da da da”.
Vance has a secret that he’d love to share man to man-friday with Papa, but he’s still perfecting it, and he wants to wait until he can demonstrate full mastery. Very soon. He thinks gleefully how his big reveal will just blow his beloved subjects away. He imagines demonstrating his skill to all in his royal court: to Mama, Papa, Freya, to Ty and Sandy, to his aunts and uncles, to his three sets of grandparents, to Mimi and all of Mama and Papa’s other friends. He is excited and can barely wait to wow the populace.
Finally, the private time for covert maneuvers approaches. Papa leaves through the front door heading to his shop, Freya is absorbed in Zootopia on the sofa, and Mama is at the kitchen island, typing about sick people on her computer.
Vance crawls rapidly to the bedroom he shares with Freya and pulls himself to standing by grabbing his crib slats. Upright, he surveys his domain, an absorbed look on his face. Vance is thinking, assessing, making a quick internal check before launch. He feels good, confident-check!. His legs feel mighty and his trunk is stable-check! His arms are widely extended, aiding balance-check! Conditions are right and all systems are go. He lets go of the crib and stands erect. A broad smile illuminates his expression. He takes one intrepid step, then another.
Rollo, his noble canine, dashes into the room, investigating where his sovereign has gone. Rollo rockets towards upright Vance and vigorously licks Vance’s face, which is just level with his doggy tongue.
“Overload! Overload!” Vance thinks, trying valiantly to correct. He is an elite pilot, reacting heroically after an unexpected missile strike.
But Rollo overwhelms Vance’s precarious balance, and Vance flumps down on his diaper-padded butt. Rollo adjusts his position and continues licking traces of Vance’s breakfast cream cheese from his ruler’s chubby cheeks and lips. Vance beams and winds his hands into Rollo’s chest fur.
Vance feels proud of his latest great attempt, despite the early abort due to adverse conditions. Despite Rollo’s interference, Vance feels nothing but love for his regal dog. Vance feels how sturdy Rollo is under his thick fur. Seated, Vance notes how tall Rollo is. He then remembers watching how fast Rollo runs around the yard.
A grand vision forms in Vance’s active brain. His face lights up and he grins enormously. He has had a sudden quantum leap in his glorious plans for the future. Vance is already confident that very soon he will walk boldly through his kingdom. He has already imagined triumphantly revealing his new power to his family of subjects. But now, now, he realizes that with the help of his faithful doggy steed, someday Vance will RIDE!
THE END